


Steve Rogers vs the 21st Century: Round 5 (transcript)

by Asophogus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, I can't use a microwave, Screenplay/Script Format, Slice of Life, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, based on real life, it's round five of a hypothetical series of fictional youtube videos, not round five of an actual series that exists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asophogus/pseuds/Asophogus
Summary: Hey guys, I'm back. Any news of my demise are greatly exaggerated, I've just been very busy designing a microwave. On that note, have another episode of v21st! Hope you all enjoy watching sleep-deprived Avengers as much as I did! Spidey, over and out.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	Steve Rogers vs the 21st Century: Round 5 (transcript)

_The video opens with PETER PARKER grinning into the camera. He’s wearing a loose white T-shirt. There are voices in the background and a loud fire alarm._

PARKER ( _whispering against the mic_ ): Hi guys! Welcome to another round of Steve Rogers vs the 21st Century.

_The camera flips and several Avengers can be seen in the kitchen of the Avenger’s Tower. They are all wearing various sleepwear. STEVE ROGERS is sitting at the table shirtless with grey sweatpants, he’s arguing with BUCKY BARNES, who is standing to his left in a fluffy blue robe and slippers. On the table is a pile of what appears to be burnt paper and bread. TONY STARK is standing across the table from them in front of a broken microwave, spraying it with a small handheld fire extinguisher. He is wearing Iron Man briefs and an oil-stained tank top._

STARK: Jarvis.

_The fire alarm turns off._

BARNES ( _laughing_ ): Steve, this is the fifth time this month. You’re gonna get banned from microwaves for life.

ROGERS: Stark told me not to put metal in that contraption. This ain’t metal. This is paper.

_He picks up some of the charred paper and holds it in Stark’s direction._

ROGERS: This is paper, right?

_Stark puts the fire extinguisher down and turns the paper around, revealing a shiny surface on the other side._

STARK: It’s reflective on this side and the reason why you can’t put metal in a microwave is that it’s reflective. I told you that the first time, Rogers, is your age catching up to you?

ROGERS: The instructions said not to open it and to bake the bread in the bag, how was I supposed to know the inside was reflective when it said not to open the bag?

BARNES: You don’t bake shit in a microwave, you bake in an oven.

ROGERS: Then what do you call cooking something in a microwave?

BARNES: Microwaving it.

ROGERS: That’s not a-

STARK: It’s a word, Capsicle.

_Rogers groans and drops his head against the kitchen table._

STARK: Hey, watch it!  
  
ROGERS: I am literally incapable of getting concussions, Stark, relax.

STARK: I was talking about the table.

_Barnes snorts. Rogers retorts, still facedown on the table._

ROGERS ( _muffled_ ): Don’t you be getting all high and mighty, Buck. The only reason you know microwaves even exist is because you watch those dumb cooking shows day in day out.

BARNES ( _deadpan_ ): You mock true love. My heart belongs to Gordon Ramsey.

STARK ( _annoyed_ ): Well my heart can’t take being woken up at ass o’clock just cause Captain over here wanted to eat garlic bread in the dark at 2am like a creeper.

ROGERS ( _lifting his head up_ ): I was hungry and didn’t want to wake anyone up-

STARK ( _talking over him_ ): Great job!

ROGERS ( _loudly_ ): Thank you.

PARKER ( _offscreen, worried_ ): Hey guys-

UNKNOWN VOICE ( _offscreen_ ): Stark, just make a microwave that can microwave reflective things too.

_Everyone jumps and the camera jerks over to the couch. CLINT BARTON is hanging over the back of it and yawning, fiddling with his hearing aids. He is in rumpled combat gear._

STARK ( _offscreen_ ): How long have you been there?

BARNES ( _offscreen_ ): The whole time.

STARK ( _offscreen_ ): I wasn’t asking you.

BARTON ( _to Stark_ ): Aren't you supposed to a genius? Just invent a microwave that won’t make anything light on fire.

_The camera turns back to Stark in the kitchen. In the background Barnes is sweeping the charred paper/bread pile into the trash and Rogers is leaning way back over the chair, looking between Stark and Barton with his head upside down._

STARK: It’s called a microwave because it uses microwaves to generate heat, I can’t just change the properties of the electromagnetic spectrum-

BARTON: So you can’t do it?

STARK: I didn’t say that, did I? I didn't say that.

_The camera follows him as he walks out of the kitchen and gestures at Parker to follow him._

STARK: Come on kid, Stark Tech is branching into the home appliances sector.

PARKER ( _offscreen_ ): I don't know anything about home appliances.

STARK: Good. Neither do I.

_The camera flips around and Parker faintly grins and makes a peace sign. Barnes is making a sandwich in the background. Rogers is standing next to him and handing him a jar of something. Barton has disappeared._

PARKER: Well who won that one? Comment below!

STARK ( _offscreen_ ): Turn off the phone, I don’t pay you to make YouTube videos.

PARKER ( _rolling his eyes_ ): You don’t pay me period.

_Video ends._


End file.
